Jason Mai
5/11/14
Today I've been thinking a lot about family, because it's mothers day. I love my family, I hate them too. I hate how my dad is never there for me when I need him, I hate how he works so much, I hate how because of that I never see him, I hate how he has to go to Korea for a business trip and he has to miss the film festival and my film that I worked on all year. I hate how my mom got laid off because of her lack of English, I hate how her health is going down the drain. I hate my grandma who can't hear me, who doesn't make any sense that I use to be close with and I feel like we slowly slip away. I hate my alcoholic uncle who doesn't do anything with his life, but mostly I hate myself. I hate how I don't appreciate my mom, or my dad. I hate how I don't appreciate everything they do for me, how much they've dealt with me, and how they took care of me for so long. I hate how I bully my sister and my mom needs to deal with it. It kills me when my mom talks about when she passes away if I'll be able to take care of myself, It kills me having them worry about me, it kills me when they worry about me, worry about if I'll make it in life. All I want to do is to make them proud, make my dad proud, make them understand I'm not a failure, that I can do something with life, that I want more than what they have. I just wish they understand that I do love them, and they mean the world to me, because in the end they are family, they are blood.
When growing up I thought all I've wanted was to be normal, to be like the rest of the kids, but as I grow up I understand I am different, and my culture is different and instead of pushing that away like I did before, I embrace it. Maybe no one will really understand, but the ones who can are the ones I keep close. I love you mom and dad.
I really like this post, and I feel that it accurately portrays what can happen to a family. I feel like some of this is true for me as well.
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