Some of you may know I had to make an emergency trip to Texas racing there to see my Grandpa before he died. I got to Texas on the 18th of May and he died in the early morning on May 20th. I had limited/non steady internet access during my visit (may 18th-June 5th) so was not able to post my writings until my return. Here are my posts from my missing weeks.
May 18th
This has been quite the week. I've recieved news from my family that my Grandpa has not been doing well physically. He's been coughing up blood, is short of breath and his kidneys are shutting down rapidly. Last night I got a late night call that the doctors were sending him home and putting him on hospice. I quickly got online and booked the fastest flight to Houston I could find for the 18th. My in-laws are currently visiting, they flew in on the 17th and while sad that I have to leave (I hadnt seen them in 2 years) they understood.
My favorite act of kindness this week: cleaning my home super clean for the arrival of my in-laws.
My favorite act of kindness given to me: my mother in law teaching me how to use my sewing machine properly.
May 25th
I feel very fortunate that my husband has a good job and was able to supply the money for the expensive last minute flight. I flew in on the 18th and my sister drove me straight from the airport in Houston to Beaumont where my Grandpa was in the hospital. When I walked in his eyes widened, I could tell he was happy to see me. Always the quick witted he says "What happened? did you go to the store to get bread and end up in Beaumont?" I laughed and told him I came to visit him because I heard he was sick. We chatted for a bit but I could tell it was taxing his energy quite a bit, which surprised me considering he was always very active even when I had seen him last in December. As he coughed he tried to conceal the blood with his napkin but was not aware of the red tinge on his white beard. I left the hospital late that night and came back early the next morning. The hospital discharged him that afternoon and a transport ambulance took him home. By the time he arrived back to his house all of my other family members were there (thankfully he had a large house so everyone had somewhere to sleep) I saw relatives I had not seen in many many years. We propped my grandpa up in his bed and tried to do our best to make his comfortable once hospice left. Once he got home he started to get worse quick due to not being on IV fluids and blood transfusions. I knew from my paramedic training it would not be long. That night as everyone got sleepy I placed a chair next to his bed and stayed up with him. My sister rested in a chair in the room in case I needed her. what a rough night... His breathing became more and more labored, at one point in the night he began saying "I cant do this anymore..I cant" it was heartbreaking to watch him suffering. I began praying for God to please take him soon, to alleviate his suffering. on May 20th at 3:50am I could tell from his movements and breathing that he was about to die, I called my sister over and told her to gather everyone. My mom who was in the closest room was the first to come in and my sister came in next as the others were coming downstairs. My mom, my sister and I were there as we watched his last breaths. 2 minutes after he stopped breathing I checked for a pulse in several spots and did not find one. TOD 3:55am.
Fortunatly my Grandpa was a well prepared man and had already had his funeral planned and paid for which made thing really easy. The funeral was held on May 23rd with full military honors. He was a Marine who fought in WW2, during the service two Marines in full dress uniform stood at attention and folded the flag from his coffin while a bugler played taps, it was just like he wanted it.
Favorite act of kindness this week: Staying up with my Grandpa
Favorite act of kindness I recieved: My sister being in the room with me
June 1st
The amount of greed and yelling I have seen over the past week has been unlike anything I have ever seen before. I have been trying to find my balance of grieving healthily while letting the copious amounts of negativity around me roll off my back. My Grandpa was a very wealthy man and had left a will that was very structured and well laid out but it didnt stop some members of the family from trying to swindle/steal from those who were rightfully willed items/money/jewelry/land/etc. I guess the saying is true..."Mo' money Mo' problems!" but it wasnt all bad. There were also some very touching moments I had, things I will remember for the rest of my life. I savored the time I got to spend with some of my favorite cousins. I met people I had not seen since I was a young child and also formed a friendship with one of the most bad-ass motorcycle cops in Beaumont. Life...you sure are interesting!
Favorite act of kindness this week: carrying dusty/heavy furniture
Favorite act of kindness I received: My cousins and I getting together with away from the chaos for a home cooked dinner at one of my cousins apartment.
June 8th
This was my last week in Texas and was really the first time in the past few weeks that I have been able to just chill with my mom and sister. We drove back to Deer Park and kicked back for a few days. We spent time at the beach, played bingo (my mom won one of the rounds! big money woohoo!) and I snuggled my sister's pomeranian Kali (she's such a diva) I also got the opportunity to do 2 classes at my old dojo which teaches Combat Hapkido from Grand Master Chris Yaeger. It was alot of fun seeing him and all the old instructors(I even learned a few new techniques so watch out! haha) but I missed all my Revolution Martial Fitness peeps so very much. I'm very happy to be back to my little condo with my husband and dog. I got a very grand welcome when I arrived home.
Favorite act of kindness this week: Giving my husband a massage to his pained shoulder.
Favorite act of kindness I recieved: A social worker sitting next to me on the plane helping to calm down during rough turbulence on the flight home.
I'm sorry for your loss :(
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